A surrogate mother from the Brest region told why she decided on this path and how it all happens
Maria from the Brest region decided to become a surrogate mother; she has already carried two children for other couples. She is glad that she helps people become parents. She told "Onliner" her story.
Photo: "Onliner"
Maria says that she became a surrogate mother not because her family lacked money: they had an apartment and a car. She wanted to secure the future for her daughter Vasilisa and help people become parents. Her husband was the most strongly against it: he imagined his wife sleeping with a stranger and giving away their child together. It took about a year to explain everything.
After the first program, he calmed down and has supported his wife ever since. Maria immediately told her relatives that if they didn't support her, she would cut ties with them.
How is it all arranged in Belarus? A candidate undergoes a full examination, including mental health. Then she signs a preliminary agreement with the clinic, a couple is chosen for her, and a notarized contract is concluded. The requirements are: age up to 35, at least one biological child of her own, absence of serious illnesses, and written consent from husbands on both sides.
The embryo is created from the cells of the genetic parents, so the surrogate mother is genetically unrelated to the child and has no rights to it. She also does not become a mother of many children.
The fee is fixed in the contract in Belarusian rubles. In addition to this, only sick leave for pregnancy and childbirth and payment for early registration (530 rubles) are paid. If the child is found to have a pathology not due to the surrogate mother's fault, she receives the full fee. If the examination confirms damage from alcohol or smoking, the fine can reach half the amount. The amount of the fee depends on experience and agreements. Maria does not name her specific amounts, but from public data, clinics pay from 18 to 35 thousand dollars, sometimes up to 50 thousand, plus monthly maintenance and compensation. For couples, this is expensive: there are no loans or aid, some sell apartments.
Surrogate mothers can be monitored at home or in Minsk. Deliveries usually take place in Minsk because a lawyer is needed to formalize the transfer of the child. C-sections are performed only by indication. Maria dismisses as myths the opinion that surrogate mothers always have C-sections. Parents can be present at screenings and births if this is stipulated in the contract.
Demand now significantly exceeds supply: there are about ten times more couples, but the number of surrogate mothers remains the same.
Maria considers this a responsible and expensive, but still a job: "foreign cells, foreign blood." According to her, if a woman does not understand that the child is not hers, she should not take it on. However, she talks to the baby during pregnancy and reads to it. The second time, she honestly explained everything to her daughter.
Male colleagues advised her to sell a kidney instead, but one colleague supported her. Maria plans to stop at the third program because "health is not made of rubber." She wants to have her second biological child no earlier than 35, when her daughter grows up.