Female Alcoholism: How It Differs from Male Alcoholism and How Such Women Should Be Treated?

After the death of Belarusian writer Sviatlana Kurs (Eva Vezhnavets), psychotherapist Veranika Zahurskaya published a post on Facebook, recalling that Kurs was one of the few in Belarusian literature who spoke about female alcoholism without contempt or moralizing, but with understanding and compassion for women trying to survive difficult life circumstances.

Zahurskaya also shared a personal story, noting that alcohol addiction affected several generations of her family. In her opinion, women in such situations often remain without understanding and support, as stigma, shame, and public condemnation are added to difficult life circumstances.

In memory of Sviatlana Kurs, she translated into Belarusian a chapter from the book by Canadian psychotherapist Bonnie Burstow, who proposes to view female alcoholism not as a weakness of character or exclusively a medical problem, but as a way to cope with traumatic experiences, violence, poverty, loneliness, and other difficult life circumstances.

Bonnie Burstow is a Canadian psychotherapist and feminist, one of the researchers who developed feminist therapy. Her book «Radical feminist therapy: working in the context of violence» was published in 1992. In the sub-chapter on female alcoholism, 'Drinking Problems,' she summarizes the research and practices of her time.

As Zahurskaya notes, she deliberately chose this 'historical' text to show the layers of female experience that were formed in a society existing under completely different social conditions. According to Zahurskaya, Bonnie Burstow's text became important for her not only professionally but also personally. It helped her to rethink the history of her own family, which also had a problem of alcohol dependence, and to see it not as a story of 'weakness of character,' but in a broader social context.

Below are the main ideas from Bonnie Burstow's chapter on female alcohol dependence.

Female Addiction Is Not the Same as Male Addiction

Bonnie Burstow believes that female alcohol dependence cannot be viewed according to the same patterns as male dependence. In her opinion, social conditions, gender roles, and inequality significantly influence women's lives and behavior, so addiction should be understood not only as an individual problem but also as a result of broader social processes.

Referring to research, the author notes that married working women most often begin to abuse alcohol. She explains this by the double burden, where women have to combine work with primary responsibility for household and family care.

Increased rates were also observed among unemployed women, isolated homemakers, women living in poverty, lesbians facing marginalization, and representatives of some discriminated social groups.

At the same time, Burstow points out that lower official figures for certain categories of women do not necessarily mean a lower prevalence of addiction.

In her opinion, in some cases, women use other means instead of alcohol to cope with emotional tension, including anxiety-reducing medications, such as Valium (diazepam). In others, they have more opportunities to hide their addiction from their environment and therefore are less likely to appear in statistics.

Alcohol as a Way to Cope with Trauma

According to Burstow, helping women with alcohol addiction should go beyond merely combating alcohol use itself. First and foremost, it is necessary to understand how addiction is connected to life circumstances, inequality, past violence, lack of support, and other factors that influence a woman's life.

The author considers alcohol not only as a problem but also as a way to overcome difficult experiences. According to her, alcohol use can help temporarily dull emotional pain, cope with traumatic memories, avoid difficult decisions, gain a sense of relief, or even express protest against life circumstances.

According to the researcher, during therapy, it is important not only to work with the addiction itself but also to ascertain with the woman what role alcohol plays in her life and what problems it helps her endure. She suggests paying particular attention to addressing the root causes of addiction, including childhood sexualized violence, rather than just its symptoms.

Without Shame and Condemnation

Burstow believes that overcoming alcohol addiction is impossible without a change in a woman's attitude towards herself. According to her, it is important not only to reduce alcohol consumption but also to gradually learn to accept oneself, feel one's own dignity, and receive respect instead of judgment.

At the same time, support does not mean ignoring the problem. Therapy, according to the author, should not take place when a person is under the influence of alcohol, but even in such situations, a woman should not be humiliated or accused.

Burstow pays special attention to the feeling of shame. In her opinion, women often carry several layers of stigma — as women, as people with addiction, and often as victims of violence. She believes that society judges women who abuse alcohol much more harshly, while being more lenient towards men. The main problem for many women, the researcher argues, is not irresponsibility, but, on the contrary, excessive responsibility and exaggerated demands placed upon them by society.

There Is No Single Right Path

Regarding giving up alcohol, Burstow notes that there is no single right way: for some, gradual reduction of consumption works, for others, complete abstinence. However, this must be a conscious choice made by the woman herself.

The researcher critically evaluates the widespread approach that the only way to overcome addiction is lifelong complete abstinence. She refers to research and her own professional experience, which, in her opinion, indicate that for some people, a gradual reduction in alcohol consumption can also be effective.

According to the author, the main thing is for the woman herself to participate in choosing the goal and the path to achieve it. If the chosen strategy doesn't work, it can be reviewed. The specialist's task is to help find the most realistic and effective way to overcome addiction, not to impose a universal solution.

Recovery Requires Support

Burstow suggests that inpatient rehabilitation centers can be an effective option for help, but they must take into account women's life experiences, cultural and social characteristics of patients, rather than relying solely on standard programs.

However, the author emphasizes, it is much harder for women to get help than for men. When a man goes for treatment, his partner often takes care of the children and household. But if a woman needs help, her decision can be perceived as an act of selfishness or irresponsibility. In cases of domestic violence, the mere request for help can provoke a new episode of aggression.

Therefore, according to Burstow, support should include not only addiction treatment but also assistance in redistributing household responsibilities, childcare, accessing social resources, and finding a safe environment. The author also believes that programs that consider their cultural identity may be more effective for some women.

Relapse Is Not Defeat

Burstow emphasizes that after giving up alcohol, a woman's life often becomes more complicated, as she has to confront problems from which alcohol previously allowed her to escape.

Therefore, possible relapses, in her opinion, should not be seen as a definitive defeat. Instead of condemnation, the researcher suggests analyzing their causes, seeking additional support resources, and helping the woman prepare for difficult situations.

She also considers an important part of recovery to be learning to assert one's own needs, define personal boundaries, resist pressure from loved ones, and, if necessary, change one's social circle or end relationships with partners who hinder recovery or commit violence.

The Whole Family Needs Help

Bonnie Burstow dedicates a separate chapter to motherhood. She notes that although society unfairly and much more harshly condemns mothers with alcohol addiction than fathers, excessive alcohol consumption can indeed inflict serious psychological trauma on children. Therefore, support is needed not only for the woman herself but also for her children.

According to the author, family counseling and support groups for children can play an important role, but only if they are not based on blaming the mother. The main task of such work is to create a safe space where children can openly tell how their mother's addiction affected their lives, and the mother can listen to them, acknowledge her responsibility, and begin to rebuild trust.

New Family Roles

Burstow notes that many children live for years in an atmosphere of anxiety and unpredictability, forced to take care of their mother. When a woman begins to recover and return to her usual parental responsibilities, this can also become a challenge for the family.

After a long period of living in such a situation, children, especially older ones, may find it difficult to cope with the change in family roles and may even unconsciously hinder their mother from regaining her parental responsibilities. In her opinion, families cannot simply return to how things were before, so all its members need to gradually learn new ways of interacting.

Burstow believes that a woman needs support to gradually return to her maternal role, set healthy boundaries, consistently fulfill agreements, and at the same time get rid of a constant feeling of guilt. Without such support, she notes, additional pressure from the family can increase the risk of returning to alcohol.

At the same time, Burstow emphasizes that family problems cannot automatically be placed solely on the woman. In relationships with a partner, his responsibility must also be considered, and in cases of violence or other destructive behaviors, the most important task may not be establishing communication, but helping the woman to safely exit these relationships.

Alcoholics Anonymous: Positive and Ambiguous Aspects

Bonnie Burstow dedicates a separate chapter to self-help groups, primarily the community of 'Alcoholics Anonymous' (A.A.). She recognizes that such groups can be an important source of support and help many people overcome addiction. However, in her opinion, they should be used critically, as their approach does not always meet the needs of women.

The author criticizes A.A. for relying on a medical model of addiction, viewing alcoholism as a lifelong disease and asserting that a person cannot return to moderate alcohol consumption. In Burstow's opinion, this approach individualizes the problem, limits possible paths to recovery, and does not consider the social causes of female addiction.

According to the researcher, many A.A. principles were formed around male experience. In particular, she disagrees with calls for greater humility, submission to a 'higher power,' and recognition of one's own helplessness. Burstow believes that for women, whom society already teaches to renounce their own needs and submit to others, it is much more important to develop a sense of self-worth, agency, and the ability to influence their own lives.

Another problem the author identifies is the excessive emphasis on personal responsibility. In her opinion, calls to acknowledge one's own mistakes and ask for forgiveness are not always appropriate, as many women already suffer from an excessive sense of guilt and are prone to prioritize the needs of others over their own.

Burstow also draws attention to gender dynamics in mixed groups. According to her, men more often set the tone of the conversation and determine how the experience of addiction should be interpreted, while female experience remains less visible.

Furthermore, the A.A. program, in her opinion, hardly takes into account the life context of women, including experiences of sexualized and domestic violence and other traumatic events that may underlie the development of addiction.

Burstow also criticizes the fact that A.A. participants are encouraged to maintain a lifelong identity as an 'alcoholic' and continue attending meetings. In her opinion, for some people, this can become not a source of freedom, but a new limitation that prevents them from perceiving themselves beyond their own addiction.

What's Good?

At the same time, Bonnie Burstow emphasizes that, despite these shortcomings, 'Alcoholics Anonymous' also has important advantages. In her opinion, the organization offers a clear structure, practical tools for overcoming addiction, and a constant supportive community.

Participants can find a new social circle there, people who have gone through similar experiences and support the aspiration for sobriety. For representatives of some groups, for example, small indigenous peoples, there are also specialized A.A. communities that can provide an additional sense of belonging, although they too, in the author's opinion, do not offer sufficient analysis of the social causes of addiction.

Therefore, Burstow does not call for completely abandoning participation in A.A. On the contrary, if such a community helps a woman, she considers it expedient to support this choice, while critically reflecting on those elements of the program that do not meet her needs. According to the author, when women become more confident and begin to question certain A.A. principles, the specialist should support this process, without denying the benefit that participation in the group has already brought.

Legal Protection for Mothers

Separately, the researcher draws attention to the legal risks that mothers with alcohol addiction may face, including the threat of losing custody of their children. In her opinion, these risks are even greater for women belonging to socially vulnerable groups.

In such cases, women need not only psychological but also legal support, as well as assistance in protecting their interests before social services and the court. She also notes that for practical purposes, participation in recognized addiction treatment programs can be beneficial, as this may be significant when the situation is assessed by state bodies.

• 3
• 0
• 0
• 3
• 0
• 0
• 0
• 0