"We liberated the Germans from fascism, but we ourselves remained in the same mess." The third part of Grigory Berezkin's memoirs about Soviet repressions has been published.

"Don't Let My Life Be Lost" is a transcript of conversations from 1979 between Belarusian critic Grigory Berezkin and Moscow literary critic Isaac Kramov. The recordings lay in a drawer for more than 40 years: both interlocutors soon died, without managing to publish the book. Recently, the handwritten notebooks were deciphered by archivist Marusya Shanaurina.

If in previous parts Berezkin described pre-war repressions, the betrayal of colleagues, and his miraculous escape during the "death march" of 1941, the third part is devoted to post-war life in Berlin and a new, inevitable arrest.

This text is a unique testimony of the era. Berezkin describes the surreal life of a victor who walks the streets of Berlin in officer's shoulder boards, sits in the theater next to the leadership of the GDR, but at the same time waits every minute for "his own" to come for him.

Soviet Officer in Defeated Berlin

After the end of the war, Berezkin, who received an officer's rank, remained in Berlin. He worked in the newspaper of the Soviet military administration "Soviet Word" as a "writer in the newspaper." This gave him the opportunity to travel a lot in the Soviet zone of occupation, visit theaters, and observe the life of the Germans.

Berezkin was struck by the German mentality, which he characterized as "wild worship of uniforms" and obedience to any authority. He notes the paradox: people who had recently served Hitler now performed the orders of Soviet commandants with the same pedantry.

The memoirs are full of contrasts: on the one hand, the high intellectual spirit of Goethe, which the German intelligentsia was proud of, and on the other, complete indifference or even denial of the crimes of Nazism. People who lived near Buchenwald pretended they knew nothing about the death camp.

Illusion of Freedom and Shadow of the Past

Despite relative freedom - going to restaurants, acquaintance with the writer Viktor Nekrasov, a recent Stalin Prize laureate - Berezkin was haunted by a sense of anxiety.

He admits: "When I die, I will remember my free life." But it was freedom in the crosshairs. The fear of filling out questionnaires, where it was necessary to explain his status in 1941, was a constant companion.

In 1946, Berezkin made a desperate attempt to legalize his position. He went to Minsk to meet with his friend Arkady Kuleshov and "confess." Kuleshov went to ask for him to Panteleimon Ponomarenko, then the head of the BSSR. The latter, learning that Berezkin had fought honestly, gave the go-ahead for his restoration in the Union of Writers.

Berezkin considered this a complete pardon, but, as time showed, it was only a postponement.

"So, Where Did We Leave Off?"

The second arrest occurred on July 19, 1949, in Berlin. This coincided with the height of the campaign against "cosmopolitanism" and the defeat of the Jewish Anti-Fascist Committee.

Berezkin draws a direct parallel between the actions of the Nazis in 1941, who selected "intellectuals" from the crowd of refugees for execution, as they were most often Jews, and the actions of the Soviet authorities after the Victory, who began hunting for "cosmopolitans," by which they meant Jews.

"We just destroyed fascism - and immediately here... First we needed the intelligentsia."

The detention looked mundane: Berezkin was walking home, and a "curator" was already waiting near the entrance. All the writer managed to do was pay off the housekeeper. He was thrown into a basement full of fleas, which was also used under the Nazis.

The investigator, Major Nechaev, began the interrogation with a phrase that crossed out all the years of war and exploits: "So, where did we leave off on June 22, 1941?".

The charges sounded absurd. The investigators returned to the 1941 case, adding a new item to the "anti-Soviet conversations" - "escape from custody."

Павялічыць

The fact that Berezkin miraculously survived the shooting of the column of prisoners and joined the Red Army was interpreted as a crime.

"Churchill also fought against Hitler," the investigator parried the arguments about the front.

The investigation was conducted cynically. Berezkin was required to testify against people who had long died at the front or were shot by the NKVD itself back in 1941, like Zelik Akselrod.

Investigator Nechaev was bored during interrogations, counted money, but when it was necessary to show official enthusiasm, he turned into a director.

"Once he forced me to get on my knees, sat easily on top and says:

- Scream.

So that the bosses would hear that he was interrogating well. Scumbag."

From One Camp to Another

In the cell, Berezkin met people for whom the difference between Nazism and Stalinism was only in form. He sat with a German communist who had spent 11 years in Hitler's concentration camps, only to immediately end up in the prison of the "liberators." He sat with a social democrat who was kidnapped by Chekists from West Berlin, acting like bandits: "A prick in the ass, wrapped in a carpet, transported to East Berlin."

This leads the author to a bitter philosophical conclusion, which he calls "the tuning fork of the entire war":

"One side of our state: we liberated the Germans from fascism, a wild paradox - we ourselves remain in the same shit."

Павялічыць

"And if there is a war with America, who will win?"

The investigation in 1949 took place against the backdrop of the unfolding Cold War. Berezkin describes a "confidential" conversation with Major Nechaev, which exposes the complete ideological emptiness of those who were supposed to defend the Soviet system.

- Do you think there will be a war with America? - the investigator asked between protocols.

- In my opinion, no.

- And if there is, who will win, what do you think?

- Ours, - Berezkin cautiously replied, realizing that he could not give in to provocation.

- As for me - *uyня.

This finally convinced the prisoner: before him sat not former ideological Chekists, but "criminals and psychopaths, liars, morally depraved careerists, hypocrites who believe in nothing and know that you are not guilty of anything."

When Berezkin was transported from Berlin to Brest, all the soldiers assigned to him were told that they were transporting the most important American agent. Once Berezkin told the lieutenant:

- Lieutenant, a little time will pass, and you will be very ashamed of your actions.

- Why, will the Americans come?

- Why? The Americans will never come to our country. They will simply stop torturing innocent people.

"Back Black from Ink"

Describing the methods of pressure, Berezkin recalls an episode from his first arrest.

"My first arrest in Minsk: they knew that I didn't have courage, I was afraid of torture - they kept me on the conveyor, a slap in the face - that was enough. Once they throw a young guy into the cell. He raises his shirt - his back is black. It turned out later - his back was smeared with ink to show what would happen to me. It worked terribly."

Reading these lines, you understand the origin of the propaganda narrative of 2020. Then many were shocked by the cynical statements of the authorities that the blue backs and legs of people from beatings were allegedly painted with paint. Now the puzzle is coming together: the descendants of the Chekists knew the "professional secrets" of their predecessors well and simply mirrored this experience onto their victims.

The circle closed in the Minsk prison cell

The transfer to Minsk became the closing of the circle. Berezkin was brought to the very cell where he sat in 1941. But one detail has changed.

"Everything is as it was then, only one of the walls - opposite the doors - is riddled with bullets... first black holes at the level of a person's head, heart, lower... There - they were shot. But who shot? The Germans? Ours? Hard to say."

For the prisoner in front of this wall, it no longer mattered who pulled the trigger - the NKVD or the Gestapo. The result was the same. But Berezkin was waiting for a different fate - he received 10 years of camps.

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