"I laugh and joke again." The story of Hanna Skryhan, who returned to her profession as an ecologist after prison

Belarusian Hanna Skryhan emigrated three times due to politics. After 2020, she resigned from Mogilev University, where she was an associate professor and head of the department. In 2021, the KGB became interested in an international project she was managing, so Hanna moved to Russia. After the full-scale war of Russia against Ukraine began, she moved to Poland.

Hanna was detained in 2023 when she came to Belarus for a vacation. Why did she go there? Hanna made this difficult decision after a conversation with her mother, who called her from her father's grave and told her about her loneliness. That emotional impulse and desire to hug her mother drastically changed the heroine's life.

For posts on a social network, a Belarusian court accused her under a Criminal Code article of "inciting social hatred." Hanna was sentenced to two years in prison. She was released in September 2024 and left Belarus after sixteen months of imprisonment and receiving the status of a "terrorist." Today Hanna Skryhan is 50 years old and has almost come to her senses.

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The return of laughter

This is Hanna's second summer free. She says that only this spring did she feel real changes.

— As the Poles say, ja doszłam do siebie, which means, I came to my senses.

"Only now have I noticed that I've become more relaxed, stopped being constantly tense. I laugh and joke a lot again."

Laughter is a litmus test of one's state. According to Hanna, she always had a good sense of humor, she loved puns and jokes, but after her release, laughter seemed to have disappeared somewhere. It took some time to get back to herself.

"A year ago, I understood that everything seemed normal, you were functioning. But inside... something felt broken."

Over the last year, Hanna resolved issues with documents and legalization. She received international protection, completed urgent treatment, and found a job in her specialty. But she calls the return to herself the main achievement. And the fact that she again has "attacks" of causeless optimism.

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Prison takes away more than just time

When Hanna was released, she was forty-nine. Starting life over at this age is difficult, she admits.

"I had to admit that prison divided everything into 'before' and 'after'."

I forbade myself to think about what life could have been like if all this hadn't happened."

Hanna says that prison takes away more than just time. Prison destroys the sense of continuity of one's own life, deprives one of a familiar future, and forces one to abandon the past.

"You realize that you can no longer rely on your former life. Everything stayed there. I didn't want to give my dignity to the system, although prison tried to break me. Resistance to the system became the mechanism that helped me survive."

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The desire to return to science did not appear immediately

After her release, Hanna found herself in Poland. The country accepted her, but emigration still proved to be a rather painful experience.

"Objectively, an immigrant is a person who dared to come. And those are their problems. And I, moreover, still haven't decided who I'll be when I 'grow up'."

In Belarus, Hanna was involved in science. But after imprisonment, it seemed to her that she would never be able to return to her beloved work.

"Only this spring did ideas appear, a desire to research and write something. At some point, I felt a taste for it again."

The heroine fascinatingly tells about the long process: how her brain recovered — very slowly, almost imperceptibly. First, the ability to enjoy small things returned. Then, the ability to dream. And only after that, the desire to create something new.

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"I can't cry for myself"

In the first year of freedom, there's a period that can conditionally be called: "I was lying down." Hanna admits:

"It was very difficult for me to find a reason to simply get out of bed."

Hanna lived with her daughter. It was her daughter who insisted that the former political prisoner start seeing a psychotherapist.

Slowly, she gained the strength to go for walks, visit museums and parks. Later, Hanna ordered new glasses because her eyesight had significantly worsened in prison.

After six months, Hanna was able to live independently.

"Before that, I didn't even want to cook for myself. And then what I call 'nesting' began: moving, settling into an apartment, buying things, creating my own space. Activities appeared: Polish language courses, writing a resume, then I started looking for a job.

The fact that I have flowers means that this is my home now," Hanna Skryhan admits.

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Photo: Politzek.me

After eight to nine months of psychotherapy, Hanna realized that she could live independently again. Although some consequences of her experience still remain.

"I'm still a very anxious person and I take melatonin to sleep. I still can't cry for myself. Only for someone else."

"It's just that I'm not local"

By profession, Hanna is an ecologist, a candidate of geographical sciences. In Belarus, she was an associate professor and head of a university department, and managed the regional branch of "Ecoproject." She loves the field of ecology and urbanism and put a lot of effort into staying in the profession. Today she works for a small Polish company that helps businesses comply with European environmental requirements. Hanna is currently on probation. She says that finding this job was not easy at all.

"There were situations when you are given to understand: it's not that you are a bad specialist. It's just that you are an immigrant."

Hanna doesn't blame anyone. She admits that competition in the Polish labor market is high, and employers often find it easier to hire a local candidate.

"The job search in my specialty became a long and painful process, especially after prison, when every new defeat is perceived much more acutely."

Home is where the favorite flowers are

Once, Hanna Skryhan tried to make her hometown of Mogilev greener and more ecological. She dreamed of Mogilev becoming the tulip capital of Belarus, of a arboretum appearing in the city where schoolchildren could learn to distinguish a maple from a birch. But, unfortunately, according to the ecologist, for now, tiles are much cheaper than a lawn.

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This spring, Hanna went to Warsaw's Pole Mokotowskie to photograph crocus fields.

"I consider flowers one of the most perfect biological species. And this year I also got my own 'garden'."

In the apartment where she lives, there are houseplants. And on the balcony, lavender and boxwood have settled in.

"Boxwood is usually bought for Easter in Poland. At home, it started to wilt, but I decided not to throw it away, but to plant it on the balcony, and look, it has already come to life. And the lavender even flourished without fertilizer!

But generally, the fact that I have flowers here, in Warsaw, means one thing to me — this city has become my home."

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Hanna admits that she doesn't miss Belarus. It turned out that it's difficult to feel nostalgic for a state that listed her as a "terrorist" for not supporting the war.

But Hanna misses people very much. Her loved ones. The life that cannot be brought back.

"I imagined petting my cat"

A cat named Frosya appeared in Hanna's life in November 2020. Now this furry face is 6 years old. Her daughter brought her out of Belarus, and in Poland, the cat eagerly awaited Hanna.

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During her imprisonment, it was memories of Frosya that helped her get through difficult moments; they became psychological support for the political prisoner.

"You know, when things got really bad there, I imagined petting my Frosya, how soft her fur was..."

After her release, Frosya recognized her owner immediately. But for two weeks she was very "offended." Hanna laughs:

"But then I was forgiven! And at first, Frosya terribly disliked it when I left. And she still doesn't like it now, but she's gotten used to it and relaxed a bit."

Hanna affectionately calls the cat "a goddess with a displeased face" and shares all of Frosya's reservations and her unwillingness to show her belly to strangers.

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Prison reveals what's inside

Hanna says she has changed. She has become more cautious and trusts people less.

"I certainly haven't become kinder! I was a person who tried to help everyone. Now I no longer interfere unless I'm asked to."

Prison teaches you to calculate consequences, to be tougher, and to think more about your own interests. But at the same time, Hanna doesn't believe that imprisonment itself can make a person bad.

"The prison experience simply exposes and amplifies what is already inside each person."

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According to her, many political prisoners remained incredibly kind people even in the most difficult conditions. Hanna smiles sadly:

"They simply had no anger! There was nothing for it to grow from!"

In captivity, a special closeness develops between people. When there is trust and support, even the most ordinary conversation about books, films, or dreams becomes a real salvation for prisoners.

"Oh, it was an internal emigration! Even small and seemingly insignificant help, a candy or toothpaste, acquires enormous value for a person who received nothing."

Such friendships can be stronger than those formed in freedom. In the penal colony, Hanna found a friend — Katya Bahvalava (Andreyeva), with whom she could talk about books and travels. The political prisoners shared a common dream: to embrace on the steps of St. Stephen's Basilica in Budapest once they were free. Hanna hopes that this dream will come true one day.

To paint light, you also need to paint shadow

Hanna draws — for herself for now. She shows her works and says that she really regrets missing some drawing master classes.

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"And my daughter tells me it's time to sell my paintings. Generally, it's an incredibly fascinating activity and process. Watercolor works by itself! And you don't actually draw. Here you need to give yourself freedom and not render everything too precisely.

"And to draw light, you also need to draw shadow!"

Hanna shows drawings: fish, flowers, a magnolia branch that she drew very recently. And she also loves drawing architecture.

"I have a whole collection here, I'm drawing Croatia. If I can, I'll go on vacation here. I want a white courtyard like this, with flowers. And for the sea to be somewhere in the distance."

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If you want to purchase Hanna Skryhan's work, here is her Instagram account — instagram.com/skryhan.

Freedom smells of linden

To the question of what freedom smells like, Hanna answers, almost without hesitation:

"Linden! Blooming linden!"

It was one of the first scents Hanna noticed after her release.

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"Now I specifically plan my walking routes so that I pass under blooming fragrant lindens."

And what does freedom taste like? Hanna smiles:

"For me, the taste of freedom is the taste of pizza! With cheese, salami, and ham.

You know, a few weeks after arriving in Warsaw, my daughter and I walked around the city for a long time, talked, and then went into a cafe and ordered pizza. And it was this taste that forever became associated with freedom for me.

After sixteen months of imprisonment, the status of a "terrorist," and lost time, freedom turned out to be surprisingly simple.

Freedom smells of blooming trees. And tastes like pizza, which you eat with a loved one, knowing that no one else can take this evening away.

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A fundraiser for Hanna Skryhan's needs has been announced on the Bysol platform. You can support her via this link.

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