"Food at the cemetery - it's always been that way." Historian on the traditions of memorial feasts among Belarusians

Funeral: mandatory dishes and a "packed lunch" for the deceased

The first description of Belarusian funeral traditions, says the interviewee, dates back to 1581. It refers to the work of the Polish historian and theologian Jan Łasicki, who described a ritual he observed in the vicinity of Zaslaŭje.

Павялічыць

— He wrote that "Christians" were invited to the memorial dinner — this referred to poor elders, wandering monks, or hermits. It was believed that they had more time to pray. Besides the poor, the priest and all "close relatives" sat at the table — this term included not only blood relatives but generally everyone the family considered close.

Łasicki describes a special ritual involving a silver chalice. Wheat was poured into it and mead was added. Each person present took a spoon, wished the deceased's relatives wealth, and the grandchildren well-being in the house. The chalice was passed around in a strict order, starting with the most important guest. Then the priest fumigated the room with incense to drive out evil spirits, and on Fridays, wealthy families distributed alms — small pieces of bread.

Already in this description, the dual nature of memorial food is evident: it simultaneously serves as a sacrifice to spirits, a treat for the living, and payment for prayer.

Largely thanks to historical and ethnographic works of the 19th–20th centuries, we can delve into the traditions of the memorial table. The main dish, Kiryl says, was kutia — a sweet porridge flavored with honey, butter, or poppy seeds. It was with this dish that the meal began, both at the funeral and at the wake.

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— Its competitor was "syta" — sweetened honey water with crumbled bun. Kutia was often called "kanun," but in Belarus, "kanun" sometimes refers to syta, which can be misleading.

In the village of Pastavichy, Staradarožsk District, an obligatory memorial dish was "żalejki" — small lean buns, served with krupnik (honey liqueur), meat, cabbage, and porridge.

And in Kryčaŭ County, "harački" referred to both the dinner itself and a specific dish — hot wheat bread that could not be cut with a knife, only broken by hand. Steam had to rise from the bread: it was believed that the soul of the deceased was fortified by it before the long journey to the afterlife.

Most dishes for the memorial table were brought, but kutia was always an exception. All dishes, Kiryl explains, were prepared from available ingredients, and it was essential that they had a long shelf life.

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Another "role" of food at a funeral was as an amulet. This primarily applied to bread and grain. Thus, when the coffin was carried out of the house, someone from the deceased's family would sprinkle rye or other grain behind it — "so that the deceased would not take the bread out of the house."

In some regions of Belarus, the scattered grain was then given to domestic animals. But, for example, in Ihumien County, every grain was collected and thrown where no one usually walked: it was believed that whoever stepped on it would invite death.

— A special attitude was shown towards the horse that carried the deceased. It was fed selected oats, bread with salt, and sometimes given a shot of alcohol. If the horse sneezed or stumbled, it was considered a bad omen: it meant the deceased "did not accept" the journey. After the funeral, the harness and hay from under the coffin were burned so that no one could use them for witchcraft.

Another important tradition on the day of the funeral was to prepare "food for the afterlife" for the deceased. According to Kiryl, this was not just a superstition, but a belief in the continuation of life. Such a "packed lunch" could be placed in the coffin or buried next to it — there was no strict rule.

— Personal belongings of the deceased, professional tools, a change of clothes, money could also be placed in the coffin. As for food — bread, salt, boiled eggs, nuts, a filled flask, but only if the deceased consumed alcohol during their lifetime.

It was believed that in the afterlife, the deceased should treat the relatives they met.

Who was always invited to the table, and who was paid with food at the funeral?

In the conversation, the historian emphasizes that memorial customs were not absolutely identical throughout Belarus. For example, variations in the timing of the memorial meal are known: in some places, people sat down at the table even before the funeral, in others — after returning from the cemetery. At the same time, guests were more often treated at least twice: both before and after the funeral.

Павялічыць

— In the town of Sebezh (formerly Vitebsk Governorate, now part of Russia) and surrounding villages, the memorial table began even before the body left the house. After the priest read the necessary prayers, he and the guests were immediately seated at the table. They started with kutia, then served fish. Even during strict fasts, kissel (fruit jelly) and "kamy" — potato porridge with large pieces of fish or mushrooms — were placed on the table. Only after the dinner ended did the priest read a prayer and the coffin was carried out of the house.

Interestingly, no one was specifically invited to the funeral here; the day was only announced to the closest relatives. But everyone who came (and more guests gathered than for any other event) was always seated at the table. If everyone couldn't fit at one table, several "shifts" were set.

The deceased's relatives were obliged to bring a bowl of kutia and "kakory" — large loaves of wheat flour weighing up to 3 kilograms. Upon leaving, each guest received such a loaf to take home. At home, it was divided among those who were not at the funeral, and everyone who ate this bread was supposed to commemorate the deceased.

Thus, memorial food was distributed throughout the village, involving even those who were absent in the ritual.

Павялічыць

In the western regions, Kiryl says, memorial traditions might echo Polish customs. For example, in addition to the obligatory kutia, "tvarožniki" (cottage cheese pancakes) and "sweet syta" with poppy seeds also appeared on the table.

— An important point I want to emphasize: there were practically no conflicts over "incorrect" rituals in Belarus. If a village had its own traditions, everything was carried out as the local elders advised.

Often, a strict seating arrangement was an important part of the ritual: first the household residents and honored guests, then neighbors and relatives, and finally "elders and beggars."

— Elders were seated separately at the table, and sometimes first of all.

The priest could eat with them, and this was considered the highest honor. The thing is, in popular consciousness, a poor person is not synonymous with unhappy. They are a "person of God," not tied to earthly things, meaning their prayer will reach the afterlife faster. As stated in the source, "what is sacrificed to the poor will return in the afterlife to the deceased relative."

Павялічыць

Let's elaborate a bit on a unique tradition in Horecki County of Mahilioŭ Governorate. There, the deceased was invited to the table, even before the meal began for those present.

— The head of the family sat before a bowl of kutia, flavored with honey, "so that it would be sweet in the afterlife." Next to him sat the priest and the oldest neighbor, while the others stood. After the blessing, everyone tried the kutia three times, calling the deceased by name, and only then proceeded to the other dishes. They were served in a specific order: first cabbage borscht, then dumplings, then potatoes.

They ate from one bowl in turns. Conversations were free-flowing, interrupting each other, but always returning to the deceased. A typical phrase: "Well, he was good, good! Well, God bless him, he took my ruble to the other world, he'll return it in coals when we meet." It was believed that the soul heard these conversations and rejoiced in good memories.

Павялічыць

By the way, professional mourners were often invited to funerals. These were women who "skillfully lamented" for the deceased.

— For their work, they received not money, but food. Ethnographers recorded that a good mourner was given "a piece of bacon, pancakes, and sometimes a shot of vodka."

Those who lamented "skillfully and sorrowfully" were served first and with the best dishes from the memorial table. It was believed that if the mourner ate this food, her prayer and lamentation would "reach" the deceased faster.

However, people had mixed feelings about hired mourning. On one hand, it was accepted as a necessary ritual; on the other, fake mourners who "screamed their throats out without a single tear" were ridiculed. Food received for fake mourning was considered "unclean" by some and supposedly could bring illness.

Memorial rituals: dinner for the deceased, food on the grave, and "Dzyady"

An important point: the day of the funeral was only the beginning of the rituals. So, the very next morning, relatives would go to the cemetery again to "wake the deceased." By the way, this tradition still exists today.

Павялічыць

— Relatives took "żalejki" and strong drinks with them. At the grave, they ate and drank three times, and the leftovers were poured onto the grave three spoons at a time, saying: "We treat you in this world, and you will treat us in the next." This ritual is a rare example of direct dialogue through food: the living feed the deceased now in the hope that one day he will repay them in the afterlife.

In some places, for example, in the Staradarožsk District, even on the day of the funeral in the evening and the next day, they "brought dinner" to the grave: they placed a plate of kutia, a piece of bread, and poured a glass. If in the morning the food was touched (pecked by birds or eaten by animals), it was seen as a good sign: the soul accepted the treat.

Further memorial traditions can be divided into two categories: family and calendar. But food always remained something like a communication tool with the "other world."

Павялічыць

— "Tratsiny" (third day) belong to private memorial services. If the funeral took place on the second or third day after death, then "tratsiny" often coincided with the day of the funeral or were on the next day. Kutia, pancakes, and porridge were always placed on the table. The first spoon of each dish was left on the table "for the soul": it was believed that the deceased would come and finish it. For example, in Horecki County, after the evening meal, the table was not cleared all night, and the leftovers were distributed to the poor the next day.

Then the ninth day ("dzіaciatyny"). By this day, it was believed, the soul completed its journey through the places where the person lived and prepared for a longer journey. The memorial table was more modest than on the day of the funeral, but pancakes and dumplings remained constant. In some places, on the ninth day, a special "kanun" was cooked — honey syta with crumbled bun.

The fortieth day after death was considered the most important date: people believed that at this moment the soul finally left the world of the living.

— Therefore, the wake was celebrated widely and everyone who helped with the funeral was invited. Kutia, "praskura" (a special memorial bread consecrated in the church), and fish were always served.

Павялічыць

Modestly and as a family, they gathered after six months and on the anniversary of death. And during the annual autumn commemorations, it was customary to install a permanent monument on the grave — it replaced the wooden cross. In the village of Hniazdziłava, Vilejski County, perhaps the most unusual memorial table ritual is associated with this tradition.

— After the priest served the panikhida, the table was set either directly at the cemetery or at home. A full meat dinner was served: pancakes with sour cream, "hrutsa" (pearl barley porridge), krupnik (thick soup), meat. The culmination was a roasted rooster. The oldest woman in the family took it and began to "sing like a rooster." The guests rushed to take the bird, the woman ran away and resisted. Eventually, the rooster was divided among all present.

Ethnographers saw in this ritual an echo of an ancient "feeding" ritual for the deceased, so that he would "wake up" to a new life in the afterlife.

Павялічыць

But the most important tradition of ancestor commemoration was "Dzyady." Preparations began long before the evening: first, thorough house cleaning, then a bath, and always a new white tablecloth on the tables.

— The number of dishes on the "Dzyady" table had to be odd: 5, 7, 9, 11, or even 15. Kutia (or "kanun"), pancakes, scrambled eggs, sausage, porridge, cheese, honey, and also meat dishes: boiled pork, lamb, chicken were obligatory. In the western regions, macaroni, cheesecakes, "vierashchaka" (a sauce of sausage and bacon) were added.

It was not appropriate to sit down at the table immediately. They silently waited a few minutes, "for the souls to eat." During dinner, it was strictly forbidden to clink glasses ("you cannot extend your arms, otherwise you will extend your legs"), laugh loudly, or get up without need. Conversations were only about the good deeds of ancestors.

After dinner, the table was not cleared. An extra plate, spoon, cup of water were placed on the windowsill or on a separate bench, along with a towel and a piece of soap, "so that the souls could wash and eat." In the morning, the leftover treats were given to the poor or thrown into the river, especially if someone from the family had drowned. In Polissia, food was taken to the roof "for the birds, which are the souls of ancestors."

"The form has changed, but not the essence"

The historian emphasizes: the joint meal of relatives at wakes, "Dzyady," and Radunitsa was an act of collective memory. Those present would always list the names of the deceased and recall their good deeds — it turned into something like an oral chronicle.

Павялічыць

At the same time, the interviewee says, researchers in ethnographic records from the mid-20th century note a gradual simplification of rituals. However, they do not disappear entirely.

— The form has changed, but not the essence: food remains the last gift, a bridge, a language through which the living speak with those who have departed. Now many argue about food at cemeteries. Unequivocally: people always ate there, it was absolutely normal and correct. Moreover, the tradition was not interrupted and did not die out.

In general, two rituals change the slowest: wedding and funeral. That is why modern weddings and funerals also have classic rituals. And knowing their meaning helps to better understand what is happening.

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