Nasta Kudasava: Around 15 years old, I sent poems to "Nasha Niva", to distant Minsk, where I had never even been
The poetess presented a new book in Vilnius yesterday and spoke about her life in emigration, writes Radio Svaboda.
Belarusian poetess Nasta Kudasava presented a new book of poems — "Lyrica" — in Vilnius. This is already the author's seventh book, published in the "Poets of the Planet" series by Kamunikat.org.
The poetess, who has been living in Gdynia, Poland, since 2022, included 100 poems in the book: some from previous collections and new texts.
Poems about pain and political prisoners
Some works in the book are dedicated to Belarusian political prisoners — including Vitold Ashurak, Sciapan Latypau, Ales Bialiatski.
Nasta Kudasava admits: she never thought she would have to write as a "political chronicler", but the events of recent years leave no choice. "Half of your heart still lives there, beyond that border," she says about Belarus.
At the request of the audience, Nasta read a poem about Kurapaty. The work "We loved to lock ourselves at home" was written under the impression of the events of 2020.
We loved to lock ourselves at home,
not to hear Kurapaty's howl.
we didn't believe in thirty-seven —
and the twentieth knocked on our door.
this dread with rotten leaves
fills the bags of bodies.
I would want to wake up, to leave,
to float out, to fly out I would want…
we didn't believe in thirty-seven,
didn't look Kurapaty in the face,
we, hiding, slept at home —
and the twentieth knocked on our door.
The poetess clearly remembers who inspired her painful words, remembers the day and place when the lines of one of her most famous poems formed in her head.
"But it's usually not like that. I never wrote and don't write to order now; poems are born on their own, they don't ask me," says Nasta Kudasava.
Belarusian language as a choice
The poetess began writing in Belarusian when she was 13 — in the 1990s. It was then, according to her, that she felt it was "her language".
Nasta Kudasava and publisher Yaroslav Ivanyuk
"It was the 90s. I glued a white-red-white flag sticker on my school diary, started keeping my diary only in Belarusian, and no one forbade it — it was allowed back then. I showed my Belarusian poems to my Russian language and literature teacher, with whom I had previously shared my Russian poems, and suddenly she said, 'This is yours, your language'," Nasta Kudasava recalled a turning point in her life.
"I began to cherish it like a child, believed in myself that I could write, and at around 15 years old, I sent poems to 'Nasha Niva', to distant Minsk, where I had never even been. Then one of my poems was published; I still keep that newspaper. That's how my poetic path began, and I never wrote in Russian again, never. I can speak different languages now, but I write poems only in Belarusian. It's like a conversation with God," Nasta Kudasava confessed.
Life in emigration and work at a donut shop
Today the poetess lives in Gdynia and raises children. To earn a living, she works at a donut shop — baking donuts. According to Kudasava, literature does not provide a stable income, so she has to look for other opportunities. However, she does not consider this a problem: physical work helps to "switch off", and poems continue to be born on their own.
"I have a difficult job; sometimes my legs hurt because I'm on my feet all the time, but I have my bonus, my happiness — it's writing poems. Yes, a poet sometimes gets awards, sometimes gets some scholarships, but this is not the main income, so I think it's better this way. Because if you start relying only on income from writing, you will write worse. Poems are written or not written, but if they are not written, I still have something to live on."
Between homeland and new life
Nasta Kudasava is from Rahačoŭ and calls it her main place of strength. Despite forced emigration, she says this feeling has not changed.
"Is it offensive? It's offensive. Well, never mind: Rahačoŭ is still my city, even if it doesn't realize it," the poetess smiles.
She is now preparing a new book titled "The Sun is Here and Birds are Heard". The book "Lyrica" can be ordered on the kamunikat.org publishing house website or purchased at Belarusian book events.
Today Nasta and Yaroslav will arrive in Riga, tomorrow a performance is planned in Tallinn, and next Wednesday in Warsaw, the "Kamunikat" bookstore will open.
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