Historian revealed questions that can "evoke memories"

Illustrative image. Photo: freepik.com

It's so hard to accept the fleetingness of time and the finiteness of life. You don't want it all to end. After university, I understood why I loved history: studying people from the past gives a sense of infinity and immortality, of resurrection. Apart from the illusion of resurrection, history has no practical use. But there is an existential joy.

Now I delve deeper into the theory of family heritage, and the deeper I go, the more I see how nothing disappears in a family: neither talents and skills, nor pain and experience, even what one would want to hide.

With this cheerful introduction, I lead to the following: I have accumulated many interesting facts about studying family heritage and will share them – writing a bit and telling a bit in videos.

One of my favorite topics is questions that can be asked to relatives. And if you can't ask them, then ask neighbors, classmates, friends of your relatives. And if not them, then yourself. You yourself (and your family) will thank you for the answers. I think you haven't thought about much of this before.

The questions are based on the book by American oral history professor Elizabeth Keating.

1. About the house. Which part of the house, which corner was your favorite? What did you see from the window? What did you hear when you woke up in the morning? Was there a clock in the house? What did it look like, where was it placed/hung, did it make a sound? These questions immerse you in the space of childhood, where we feel confident and comfortable, and it's easier to recall details.

2. About parents. How did you and your parents greet each other in the morning? Who was mom friends with, who was dad friends with, and did you like their friends? Was it allowed in your family to get angry and quarrel? Do you remember your birthdays? And your parents'? What is the most memorable gift you gave and which one you received? How do you think you resemble your parents, how are you similar to them?

And at the same time: who was your favorite relative, and what was special about them?

3. About memory. What is your strongest childhood memory? What is your earliest memory? What food evokes childhood memories in you? What is your favorite family story? What did your parents or grandparents tell you that stayed with you forever?

I read from psychologists that the first childhood memory often holds the key to our main inner problem as adults.

4. About painful things. What were you most afraid of as a child? Can you recall a scary story from your childhood? How did you cope with your fears? When did you first encounter death?

What were you teased about as a child? What instances do you remember when you were angry because someone ignored you; when something deeply offended or hurt you?

And in this block: Tell about your first and your worst date.

5. About yourselves. In what situations, circumstances did you feel most independent as a child?

Can you recall a memorable encounter with an older person? What coming-of-age events were important to you? (A question about initiation rites, the transition to the adult world – this includes the first job or first earnings, and pig slaughter, and first alcohol – anything)

Did you have arguments with your parents about clothes, hairstyle, or figure? Do you remember any item of clothing that you really liked?

And my favorite, to which the first answer is always: "I don't remember anything like that," and then — an incredibly interesting story.

Question: Can you recall a moment when you first realized who you were, thought: "So this is who I am!"?

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