«Your habit of eating pasta as a side dish…» What shocks an Italian in Belarus
Tommaso d'Amato (47) was born in Palermo, the capital of Sicily, on the shores of the Tyrrhenian Sea. Southern Italy is a separate world. Stereotypes attribute increased attractiveness, connections to the "Cosa Nostra," patriarchal values, and — perhaps unfamiliar to Belarusians — emotionality, to southerners, unlike northerners. But who believes stereotypes in 2026? Onlíner delved into the differences between Belarusians and Italians.
«How do you manage?»
— You know, there's a grain of truth in every myth and legend. But mostly people are driven by stereotypes from movies," smiles Tommaso, the chef at Café de Paris. "I grew up in a typical Palermo family: dad was a captain on an oil tanker, mom was a homemaker. Back then, everything was sufficient. You'll laugh, but I ended up in the high cuisine industry because I didn't want to study. I thought the culinary institute in Castiglioncello was for the lazy. Half of the 40 hours of weekly study was practical kitchen work. What's not to dream about?... By 16, I was already earning more than my parents' friends. However, it quickly became clear that being a chef is very difficult. No wonder there are so many memes and reels online about chefs asking: "How do you manage?"
Journalists recall the series "The Bear": Christopher Storer's talented work won so many Emmy statuettes also because it honestly, almost documentarily, showed the price of a chef's mastery.
— I ended up in Belarus about 15 years ago. Before that, I helped open restaurants, choose equipment, develop menus, and train staff not only in Italy but all over the world. As a chef, I opened a famous Minsk establishment — Grand Café. I flew in and soon flew back. A few months later, I closed my company in Italy and moved to Minsk for good.
The longer you listen to Tommaso, the more convinced you become: the myth that Italians are cheerful and relaxed, work little, and generally live a continuous "dolce vita," has little to do with reality.
— The most difficult thing in adaptation was the products. Especially frozen fish and seafood. As someone who grew up by the sea, I'm only used to fresh fish; I don't like aquaculture. It took quite a while before I arranged the delivery of "proper" chilled fish to Minsk. And the issue with other products also resolved itself over time. For example, now I have a separate business: I import flour from Italy.
Then another cultural shock: 15 years ago, no one spoke English in Minsk. And even now, it's not very popular, to be honest. Of course, when I came to Belarus, I was shown a different Minsk, a different standard of living, an audience that spoke English very well: News Café, Grand Café... But the hypothetical average saleswoman couldn't understand me.
Then I slowly started to get used to it, to adapt. As soon as the language barrier disappeared and I started to understand people, their culture, and traditions, it became easier. Everything boils down to communication. I think meeting my future wife, a Belarusian, also played a big role. I remember when I first flew to Minsk with colleagues, I immediately noticed: "Wow, what beautiful girls here! Those long blonde hair, tall stature..." Dasha and I met by chance, through mutual friends: she helped with translation. That was in 2013. Then she flew to Australia for three months, and we kept in touch via Skype. Haha, remember those days, even before WhatsApp?... We got married in 2017.
Tommaso explains that he doesn't live within a small Italian diaspora. Although he could. Well-known chefs in Minsk, Ignazio Rosso and Claudio Rosso, are within arm's reach.
— Most of my friends are Belarusians. If I only communicated with Italians, I wouldn't have been able to speak Russian," Tommaso chuckles. "But even though I've lived in Belarus for 15 years and have a family and a child here, I still feel like a guest in Minsk. Home is in Sicily... My parents, friends, memories are there...
— Paolo Sorrentino's wonderful film "Parthenope" leaves a sad feeling that everyone wants to escape Naples and — more broadly — Southern Italy. Is that true?
— No, that's not true. Naples is a beautiful ancient city with hospitable people and very delicious food. We say: "See Naples and die." Yes, that expression appeared even before "see Paris and die." In any city, there are those who strive to leave, and there are those who want to stay — both in Minsk and in Naples.
Still from the film "Parthenope"
«In the last 30 years, family roles have changed»
Comparing the generalized average Italian and Belarusian is the last thing one should do. But that's exactly what we'll do now. Did Belarus surprise Tommaso with its patriarchal nature? It seems quite the opposite.
— In small Italian cities like Palermo, there is a patriarchal mentality. But for the head of the family to come home and everyone rush to take off his shoes and wash his feet — no, of course, there's nothing like that. There is great respect for men — that's true. Because previously, only a man could earn money and support his loved ones. "I work, my wife spends the money" — that's how it's done in our family. It was the same with my mom and dad. As long as I have the opportunity, I will support my family. I'm happy that my wife doesn't have to work and can raise our child. I always paid on dates. But I can't answer for all Italians. If I meet friends or acquaintances, I'm the one who pays for coffee, tea — for me, that's normal. And paying 50/50 on a first date — that's not nice.
Of course, when we talk about family structure, comparing previous generations and today's is not okay. In the last 30 years, roles have changed. For example, the stereotype of the Italian grandmother, the "nonna," who hyper-caringly rules the entire family, is a fairy tale.
Today there are no "standards" in raising a child. The picture has changed. Perhaps Italians are a bit more kid-friendly. It's important for me to be a good father, but honestly, I only see my daughter in the morning and evening, I have a lot of work. Usually, we have dialogues like: "Dad, where are you going?" — "To the market." — "What will you buy for me?" With my parents, that is, with her grandmother and grandfather, Beatrice speaks Italian: every year she spends the summer in Sicily. But with me in Minsk, she speaks Russian: "Dad, we are in Belarus, so we speak Russian."
By the way, this also says something about me: I can't stand vegetables and fruits from shops, hypermarkets. For groceries, I go exclusively to the market: to Komarovka, to Tabary. The sellers already know me and specially set aside all the freshest produce.
«Buckwheat is a challenge»
Since delicious food is Tommaso's core competence, it is the food habits of Belarusians that cause him the most, ahem, surprise. While he eventually got used to cream in carbonara, mayonnaise with ketchup... that, apparently, is a crime against humanity.
— Before Minsk, I didn't even know you could add ketchup to pasta," Tommaso grimaces. "It's a crime! Or baking meat with mayonnaise. Or making pizza with chicken and gherkins. Or eating pilaf with ketchup or mayonnaise... No, no, no. And you Belarusians add sour cream everywhere. It's very strange. I hardly eat sour cream myself. Of course, in my work I use sour cream, I add it to sauces, to baked potatoes (baked potatoes with skins — and sour cream, cheese, herbs go in there), to mushroom soup... But overall I'm not a fan. Just mixing sour cream with sugar and eating it — I can't understand that.
Or your habit of eating macaroni, pasta as a side dish... I've only seen that with the French. And also: ordering a main course, meat or fish, for lunch, and having coffee, cappuccino, or latte with it — no, no, no! Or, for example, ordering pasta in a restaurant that sits on the table for 40 minutes, while people take photos, talk, and then try to eat the cold dish — no, I cannot understand that.
A special point for Tommaso is buckwheat. A serious challenge.
— I only started eating buckwheat last year. Before that, I resisted, didn't eat it at all. Buckwheat exists in Italy too, but it's not nearly as popular. Now I can eat it once a week, no more. You like it overcooked, like porridge. But for me, buckwheat must be "al dente," firm. That's a must.
As a chef, I don't adjust to the "strange" tastes of Belarusians. Of course, I can adapt something. But generally, I make my cuisine to my own taste. If I like a dish that I invented and prepared, then it goes on the menu. Over 15 years, I've already roughly understood what guests like. For example, rabbit. I noticed that Belarusians don't eat rabbit as a separate hot dish, but rabbit in pasta goes very well. The same story with pork tenderloin and other products in the restaurant.
Strange fact: it's not customary to leave tips in Italy.
— Yes, that's true. In Italy, tips are not mandatory. And there's logic to it. In Minsk, you have to leave tips because waiters' salaries are very low; they earn precisely from tips. In Italy, a waiter earns around €1200-1500, so it's not customary.
«€700 in Minsk equals €1400 in Palermo»
To compare the standard of living in Palermo and Minsk — "everything is proportional" — Tommaso suggests tracing the financial difference with a simple example.
— Let's take a cook (not a chef, of course, but a regular specialist). In Minsk, he will earn an average of 2500 rubles, which is about €700. At the same time, he works 15 days a month on a 3 on, 3 off schedule. In Italy, the same cook will work 21-23 days a month, but his salary is €1200-1400.
Food prices also differ. Let's say a kilogram of chicken fillet in Minsk costs about 12 rubles, or €3.50, while in Italy it's €10-12.
It's the same story with utility services. For an apartment in Minsk, I pay approximately €50 per month. In Italy, for a similar apartment, I would have to pay around €150.
Fuel in Minsk is 50% cheaper.
Or, let's say, medicine, dentistry. Getting a filling in Minsk costs 120-150 rubles, while in Italy it's €120-150. An implant in Minsk will cost €600, in Italy — €1500.
If you rent a room (not an apartment, but specifically a room) in Italy, you won't find anything cheaper than €400-500, but in Minsk — €100. And so on with everything else.
My conclusion is this. Yes, salaries in Italy are significantly higher. But expenses are also 2-3 times higher. Therefore, a person earning €700 in Minsk can afford roughly the same standard of living as someone earning €1400 in Italy. Everything is proportional. More or less the same.
«Banya, ice hole, Epiphany — I already have something Belarusian in me»
Before saying goodbye to Tommaso, Onlíner journalists had to ask the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything.
— Is a bidet part of the Italian cultural code?
— Oh, yes. A bidet in Italy is a must-have. Like borscht with sour cream in Belarus. You can't eat borscht without sour cream, can you? — Tommaso chuckles. — My first apartment, a rented one, didn't have a bidet. But in my own apartment in Minsk, I immediately installed a bidet. Absolutely. It's a must.
Another part of the Italian cultural code, it seems, is clothing. Does the Belarusian habit of wearing socks with sandals shock Tommaso?
— I worked in Germany for a year at one point — and after that, socks with sandals no longer surprise me. In general, I don't bother much with clothes, I just grab what's in the closet. My wife handles these matters. I might wear a nice suit and yellow socks. My wife looks at me: "No, Tommaso! You're Italian, style should be woven into your DNA." But for me, it's only important that the clothes are comfortable. If I like it myself — that's enough.
"An Italian with a Belarusian soul" — that's how Tommaso refers to himself on Instagram.
— Banya (sauna), ice hole, Epiphany — I already have something Belarusian in me. It all started as a joke, back with the guys from Grand Café: "What, Italian, you can't, are you scared?" And now I dip every year. Look, I even have a photo from the ice hole on Komsomolskoye Lake.
I love the banya (sauna) very much. Usually, my wife and I go every 2 weeks, although it's not a cheap pleasure. I absolutely need a banya attendant, a steam master, to whip me with a whisk — oak, birch, fir... Everything as it should be. Sometimes, when I'm very tired, I tell my wife: "Let's book the banya" — and immediately I feel lighter in spirit.
Comments
у дзяцінстве рабіла "марозіва" - змешвала тлустую смятану з цукрам, ну яшчэ з какавай і замарожвала. і гэта было сапраўды, як сапраўднае марозіва
сама прыдумала "рэцэпт"
— Грэчку я пачаў есці толькі летась. Да гэтага супраціўляўся, наогул не еў. Грэчка ёсць і ў Італіі, але не настолькі папулярная. Зараз раз на тыдзень магу з'есці, не больш. Вы любіце яе развараную, як кашу. А для мяне грэчка павінна быць «аль дэнте», цвёрдзенькая. Гэта must."
грэчка для беларуса - гэта святое. адна з самых карысных і смачных круп. апошнім часам люблю яе менавіта развараную. і без солі і масла