Nastassia Makhamet: "It wasn't an office romance. I stopped being the boss, and then our relationship started"

Nastassia Makhamet. All photos from the heroine's archive

For creating the medical service of the Kalinouski Regiment, the former medical company commander, Nastassia "Sever" Makhamet, received accusations under 12 articles of the Criminal Code from the Belarusian authorities, and the "For Courage" Order of the 3rd degree from the Ukrainian authorities, and the "Honor and Dignity" medal from Belarusian democratic forces.

Currently, Nastassia works in the United Transitional Cabinet, addressing the problems of our volunteers and their families. A year and a half after leaving service, she continues to live in Ukraine, considers returning to medicine, and is writing a book about Belarusians.

"Belarusians with temporary residence permits do not have the right to use banking services"

— The prison sentence you received in Belarus — 18 years — even sounds terrifying. How did you find out about the verdict?

— I found out like everyone else, from the media," Nastassia laughs. "It's certainly one of the longest sentences, if not the longest, given to a woman.

It's interesting that I supposedly wasn't even subjected to repression; I had one detention related to the student union, but then I was released, and the administrative case was closed. And then immediately a trial – and 18 years.

I don't take this sentence or this number seriously, because for me, this regime is not legal; accordingly, all their decisions are mere formalities.

On the other hand, such a verdict and everything they do relieved me of the moral dilemma of changing citizenship. Now I am Ukrainian.

Павялічыць

Nastassia with her dog Shery, whom she brought from the front

— It is very difficult for Belarusians to obtain citizenship in Ukraine.

— Fortunately, the legislation concerning military personnel has changed, and the new conditions for emigration permits and obtaining citizenship are much more realistic than before.

The mere fact that military personnel are no longer required to provide all these certificates, including criminal record checks, is already a big step for those who are fighting or have fought for Ukraine.

Also, it's now possible to apply with expired passports, which was not allowed before. And this is also relevant for Belarusians who cannot return to their country.

It has become easier to apply for those who have been discharged due to a decision by the VVK (Military Medical Commission) after an injury, and for those who have state awards.

And it's also very important that now it's enough to serve one year under contract, not three as before, to apply for citizenship.

The absence of documents can complicate anyone's life. For military personnel, finally, there is an opportunity to obtain them. That's why guys who left and live in other countries want to return to Ukraine.

For example, a friend of mine couldn't marry a Ukrainian woman for several years because he had no documents. So, after being discharged, he left and even got protection in Poland, but now he will return, hopefully get citizenship, and finally marry the woman he loves.

Unfortunately, in terms of legalization, nothing has changed for civilians. As before, to apply for citizenship, you need to live legally in Ukraine for five years.

But many Belarusians' passports are expiring, and they also cannot return to their country due to repression.

I am particularly concerned about mixed marriages; Belarusian women who are wives of Ukrainian military personnel find themselves in an uncertain situation. Their children receive Ukrainian citizenship, while the women themselves are given a "posvidka na postiine prozhyvannia" (Ukrainian analogue of permanent residence permit).

At the same time, when their Belarusian passports expire, they are required to provide criminal record certificates for the issuance of Ukrainian documents. Understandably, a soldier's wife cannot travel to Belarus, nor can she apply for such a certificate at the consulate in Poland.

Moreover, to leave Ukraine, a passport is needed. Without it, they can only apply for refugee status in Poland, but then they won't be able to enter Ukraine for a very long time.

Another category of Belarusians who have lived in Ukraine for ten, twenty years, and even their entire lives. They simply never thought about changing citizenship because it didn't play any role. And they also found themselves in a legal trap if their passport expired.

Even if someone decided to contact the consulate in Poland, again, to leave, a visa is needed. But there's nowhere to put it.

Nevertheless, the changes that have been occurring recently, including due to the changed attitude of the Ukrainian authorities towards Belarusian democratic forces, give hope that all these bureaucratic issues will move forward.

And our task, mine included, is to continue talking about Belarusians and vocalizing our concerns.

— You deal directly with the problems of volunteers. What are these problems?

— Most of them, as I said, are related to legalization. And not just for the military personnel themselves. By law, Belarusians serving can bring their relatives here, and they will have the right to receive a residence permit.

But the catch is that Belarusians with temporary residence permits are not residents, which means they do not have the right to use banking services.

Because they cannot open a bank account, they also cannot officially go to work. So some work illegally, while others live off their soldier husbands. If, God forbid, he dies, the family is left with no means of subsistence at all.

And here’s a real case: the wife of a missing person, who was essentially "illegal," had only one option left — to leave for Poland and apply for refugee status there. But then she wouldn't even be able to come to the funeral.

And there are many such mutually exclusive situations, where people find themselves in conditions where they can violate the law in any case.

The military personnel themselves are obliged to legalize in Ukraine, and this, as I said, has become much easier. But there are people whose passports are lost, for example, burned, meaning there isn't even a physically expired one.

And there is no procedure for obtaining a new passport or restoring it without the original. And combatants cannot apply for refugee status.

In fact, I used to help volunteers solve some problems whenever possible, but then I did it selectively, for specific individuals. Now I am expanding the scope of assistance.

Павялічыць

"I stopped going to funerals — and I now have a large number of friends and acquaintances on endless deployments"

— I remember when you left the Kalinouski Regiment, it was difficult for you, and some of your comrades-in-arms I spoke with were brought to tears by it. How did you manage to close that chapter?

— In fact, it was literally a question of survival. I have autoimmune thyroiditis. I burned out my thyroid gland to such an extent that it doesn't work, and I'm completely on replacement therapy.

I practically have no immunity. Just recently, I got caught in the rain, but didn't even have time to get thoroughly wet, and still immediately got tonsillitis. In front-line conditions, this was generally terrible.

A year before being discharged, I had sinusitis twice, pyelonephritis, and simply endlessly suffered from various viruses and colds, unable to recover.

After being discharged, it took me a year to more or less return to normal, with diets and all necessary medications. So, I realize that I simply wouldn't have physically endured further service.

— You talked about physical recovery. What about PTSD, what's called "being overwhelmed"? Do you experience that?

— I have a very acute reaction to certain loud, sharp sounds, for example, when metal doors slam or when a train passes.

My body first gets scared, and then I realize that it's not a dangerous sound. And that's if the sounds don't resemble something terrifying.

If the sounds resemble something terrifying, then everything is bad; you can catch a "panichka" (panic attack). I don't know why mopeds, the regular ones people ride, haven't been banned in Ukraine yet.

The thing is, their sound is very similar to the sound of a flying drone; they are even called "mopeds." And for some reason, people like to ride these ordinary vehicles early in the morning, when there are no other sounds yet.

And after a concussion, I have a problem — I can't determine the direction of sound; that is, I hear it, but I don't understand where it's coming from — complete disorientation.

Once, I was walking with my dog at dawn in autumn; it wasn't fully light yet. And I heard what I thought was a rapidly approaching drone. It was an ordinary moped, but both my dog and I had a panic attack. We were both very scared.

Павялічыць

My Shery is also a "PTSD sufferer"; he had a shrapnel wound, and apparently his ear is still whistling, at least he acts like it's whistling. And over time, my ear started whistling too; it's a very unpleasant sensation.

I absolutely cannot stand noise. I can't ride the subway without noise-cancelling headphones. They generally work well. I also try to avoid traveling during rush hour.

Otherwise, I start to panic along with aggression; I just want to scatter everyone around me so that no one is near me. Several times I even had to get off the subway to calm down.

But still, I would say I have a light version of PTSD; at least I sleep at night and don't fall under subway benches when a train passes loudly.

However, as for shelling, on the contrary, I must have gotten so used to it that even when something exploded not far from my house, I woke up, checked that the windows were intact, and fell asleep again.

— Do you communicate with former comrades-in-arms? You probably don't feel a desire to return, do you?

— You won't believe it, but I do want to go back. I understand what I did and what more I could still do.

I was already deeply immersed in the details, I could organize any evacuation. Even before the war, I was interested in military medicine, I studied it. And I managed to think through even some non-standard plans. This feeling of being in your place and knowing exactly what to do is special.

And now, as a citizen of Ukraine, I could even become an officer and build a military career. But I realize that I would simply kill myself in service. Unfortunately, it's incompatible with my health condition.

Of course, there are people with whom I continue to communicate. Sometimes colleagues call, to ask something or to tell something.

— You also learn about the injuries and deaths of former comrades-in-arms. Is it perceived differently from here?

— I worry a lot when someone has severe injuries. But my attitude towards death has become strange. I don't see the guys as killed; I stopped going to funerals — and I now have a large number of friends and acquaintances on endless deployments. I haven't seen them dead, and for me, they are not dead.

— Last year I recorded an interview with our volunteer with the call sign "Lych," and a week later he died. To this day, I haven't deleted our chat where we discussed the interview; I still can't believe it.

— "Lych" was a mischievous guy. I remember, back in 2022, he and a friend took a car to learn to drive, overturned, and almost died. I was very scared for them then, I scolded "Lych," who was behind the wheel.

He was so young, practically a teenager. When he died, I took it hard and also didn't go to the funeral. For me, he is still alive.

More than that, my best friend died in Bakhmut together with Miroslav Lazovsky. Recently it was three years since their deaths, and I still text him messages.

"I'm in a relationship for the first time where I can allow myself to be lazy and do nothing"

— How did you get through this winter in Ukraine?

— I live in Brovary; my house is "electric," an apartment on the 11th floor. We sometimes had 2-3 days without electricity, heating, and often without water.

But I was prepared: I have an EcoFlow (portable charging station), a gas burner, a winter sleeping bag, and an electric blanket. At home, I walked around in thermal underwear, a fleece jumpsuit, sometimes even a hat so my ears wouldn't freeze.

I live with a cat and a dog. The dog warmed me, and I warmed the cat; she was with me on the sofa on the electric blanket.

Павялічыць

Cat Risha warming herself on the electric blanket

You charge your EcoFlow, and then you calculate how much electricity you'll need for the blanket, for charging something, and for small things. Those who complained that food in the refrigerator spoils without electricity simply haven't been to the front. Hang everything outside the window, and there will be no problems.

Generally, after service, I can't say that this winter was difficult for me; it was inconvenient at times because I constantly had to adapt, for example, they only give electricity for two hours, you have to catch them. But, in my perception, it was not a disaster.

— Did you have a desire to leave Ukraine and live in different conditions?

— First, I have a significant other, a man who is serving, and I cannot leave without him. Second, here I understand what I can do.

For example, to return to medicine, I would have to retrain almost completely in another country, as I didn't manage to complete an internship. For now, I don't feel like I have the resources.

— And if you return to medicine, what specialty would you pursue?

— I was supposed to become an oncological surgeon; I assisted in operations. Some were quite complex and lasted 8-9 hours. Such operations are even physically difficult to endure. I realize that in my current state, I wouldn't be able to do that.

But if I do find the strength and start studying again, I would probably pursue ophthalmology. That also interests me. It's also surgery, but less physically demanding.

Павялічыць

Nastassia with her close friend from Donetsk, Ella, whom she considers her "adopted sister," and Ella's daughter Zhenya

— Regarding your significant other, did you meet at the front or after your discharge?

— We met during the war. He is also Belarusian, who came to fight in the Kalinouski Regiment. His call sign is "Tsyozka" (Namesake). For some time, he served in my unit on medevac, meaning I was his superior. But it wasn't an office romance. I stopped being the boss, and then our relationship started.

— They say that feelings are more acute during wartime?

— Perception is heightened, emotions genuinely appear brighter. Each time you realize that it might be your last day, so you feel everything more intensely.

— And how does the initial candy-bouquet period go in front-line conditions?

— We had a coffee-sandwich period (laughs). That's when you quietly brew coffee, make sandwiches, and slip them to me. Such unexpected care. And everything else consisted of similar small things, very important at the right moment.

And then you just realize that this is your person. More precisely, first, instead of listening to what he says, you suddenly get fixated on his eyes...

— So, love starts the same way everywhere.

— In fact, this is the first time I'm in a relationship where I can allow myself to be lazy and do nothing. He comes, I lie next to him, we order pizza so we don't have to cook — and the whole world can wait.

— How often do you manage to meet?

— Sometimes we see each other once every six months, but we try to more often. Now "Tsyozka" is a communications specialist. Sometimes he's busy for days and only sleeps two hours, but sometimes he has a normal workload, and then I can visit him.

But we are constantly in touch, in continuous correspondence 24/7, without "hello" and "goodbye." He sends me photos of dogs; he knows my weakness. He jokes that one day he'll come, and I'll have eight dogs in the apartment. But he loves animals himself.

Павялічыць

— Do you dream of a time after the war or at least after your service?

— We want a house on a secluded farm, far from everyone, an address we won't tell anyone (laughs). Preferably near water. And there will definitely be swings there. That's my condition.

— What, besides communicating with loved ones and animals, brings you joy and occupies you now?

— I can't live without creativity. For example, I knit a lot, I knit everything: toys, clothes. I like it, and it calms me down. Right now, as we're talking, I'm finishing knitting a cardigan.

Павялічыць

These are the kinds of toys Nastassia knits in her free time

And you won't believe it, I'm drawn to writing. I found my book about the protests; it was once published on LitRes, but since it's a Russian platform, there's nothing there anymore.

I want to restore this book, and there's an opportunity to translate it into Belarusian.

— What is it about?

— It was written in 2021 and dedicated to the events related to Raman Bandarenka. It covers everything — from the moment we learned about him, then how we worried about him, his horrific death, and, of course, the protests.

It's a documentary-fiction book with fictional characters, but about real events. Plus, I've already conceived a second part about these same characters, but in the war.

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