Two days together — and then the train to Vilnius again. How four years of waiting for a Polish residence permit tests a Belarusian couple's marriage

Maryna told Most how years of living between two countries affected their marriage.

In 2022, after the start of political persecution, Maryna and her daughter left Belarus for Lithuania: she managed to quickly obtain a Lithuanian visa. Viachaslau initially had no plans to leave Belarus at all.

But three months after his wife left, he also decided to leave the country. The quickest option for him was a Polish humanitarian visa. Thus, Maryna and her daughter ended up in Vilnius, and her husband in Poland.

He found work in Rybnik [a city in the southern part of the country, not far from the Czech border] — and the man went there. It was planned that this would be temporary — only until the document issue was resolved.

He applied for a residence permit back in October 2022 — at the Silesian Voivodeship Office in Katowice. He had to wait almost four years for a positive decision on his case: he only received the decision in August 2026. However, he still doesn't have the card itself — he will only be able to get it in November. All this time, the man was effectively tied to Poland and couldn't simply get on a train or bus and go to his wife in Vilnius.

Therefore, all these years, it's Maryna who has had to travel. Approximately once every two months, she travels from Vilnius to Rybnik to spend two days with her husband.

The journey one way takes almost a full day: eight to nine hours by bus and another three to four by train.

A round trip costs approximately 130-150 euros.

— If he had the documents, we could at least take turns visiting each other until we decide what to do next," says Maryna.

He takes it harder

Maryna says that the distance is difficult for both of them, but especially for her husband.

— I am perhaps a little emotionally stronger. He is physically stronger, but emotionally it's harder for him. I accept this reality and try not to waste energy on negative experiences. Because there are things we cannot change. And what we can do, we do," says Maryna.

For her, the way 'not to fall apart' is to constantly do something. In Vilnius, Maryna is involved in Belarusian culture and education, manages the 'Svitanak' center she founded, works with children, and organizes trips and performances.

Her husband remained in Poland, working at a factory. Sometimes, including travel, his workday takes about 12 hours.

In recent years, family difficulties have been added to the document issues. In October 2025, Viachaslau's sister, who had been caring for their sick parents, passed away.

— He was very attached to his family, to his village. He was always drawn there, to the land, to the place where he grew up with his grandmothers. And these psychological circumstances greatly affect him," says Maryna.

Therefore, when Maryna visits, part of their short shared life looks very simple.

— I try to simply help him: cook food, freeze it. He really loves golubtsy [cabbage rolls] — I try to make these golubtsy, freeze them, so he can just defrost and eat them later. Cutlets too. He works at the factory, travels two hours, works eight hours, two hours back. He arrives tired, and still needs to cook something," says the woman.

In these golubtsy and cutlets, waiting for the man in the freezer after her departure, now lies a significant part of their family life.

Walking hand in hand

Near the house, the second floor of which the man rents, there is a beautiful yard. When the weather is good, Maryna and Viachaslau can have a grill there. Sometimes children, or Belarusian friends from Warsaw or Lithuania, visit.

— There's a wonderful cafe in Rybnik, they have very delicious desserts, especially ice cream. We love to go there, take a stroll, simply holding hands. It's very beautiful there, with many parks. You can sit on a bench. We really love to walk there," says the woman.

Sometimes Maryna tries to combine her cultural trips with the opportunity to be together. Her husband traveled with her to Zakopane, and came to the 'Tutaka' festival. But there's an important restriction: as long as Viachaslau doesn't have a residence permit, they can only meet in Poland. For Maryna, this is one of the most difficult parts of their story. She compares it to Soviet times.

— Like they used to take away passports on collective farms: work and stay in one place," the woman says angrily.

They don't talk every day

Over four years, they have already built a life at a distance.

— We talk several times a week. If he works the first shift, he arrives around four or five o'clock, and we can talk. And then my evening classes start," says Maryna.

When asked if they argued because of the distance, she laughs:

— Of course, we argued. And who doesn't argue? I'm just curious: are there families where everything is so smooth and people don't argue? I'd learn from them.

But behind this joke lies a much more serious problem. Maryna says that she and her husband view the future differently. She is more inclined to plan, to think about a financial cushion, about what their life will be like in a few years. Her husband, according to her, lives more in the present.

“We thought: maybe we’ll end our relationship”

Maryna doesn't hide that there were moments when it seemed to her that the marriage might not survive. They still happen.

— Many families, it seems to me, did not withstand the test of this exile," says the woman.

At some point, conversations about separation were no longer abstract.

— Circumstances sometimes led to us thinking: maybe we'll end our relationship. But we decided that this distance, these trials, might, on the contrary, contribute to us preserving our family. I hope that will be the case," she adds.

But today she views this relationship differently than she did a few years ago.

— From the perspective of my age, I have decided that I come first. And if we are not looking in the same direction, but in different directions, then it's better not to hinder each other. But I think we will succeed if both of us try," says Maryna.

And then she goes to Vilnius again

It would seem that the most difficult moment of each such meeting is the journey back, when Maryna once again boards a train to Vilnius. But she says that even then she tries not to leave herself time for sadness.

— On the train, when I return to Vilnius, I don't think about philosophical things. I have a schedule: I need to prepare lessons, music, the next performance," says the woman.

On the way, she can embroider a Belarusian national costume. In recent years, she made an authentic costume for her daughter, and now she is sewing a shirt for herself.

— I am constantly busy. I don't have free time to waste my life on any worries. I have so many plans, dreams, and goals — I don't know if this life will be enough for me to realize everything," adds Maryna.

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