"My child fell asleep and didn't wake up." A 29-year-old Belarusian died in Vilnius
The preliminary cause of death for Aliaksandr Yavilin is sudden cardiac arrest. Now the family is asking for help to cover funeral expenses.
29-year-old Aliaksandr Yavilin came to Lithuania with his family at the end of 2020. In Belarus, he obtained an engineering degree, started working in his specialty, had a beloved girlfriend, and made plans for the future. In emigration, he had to start all over again. Sasha worked as a cook, tried to return to his profession, and at the same time struggled with severe depression.
A few days ago, Sasha was found dead in his bed. The preliminary cause of death is sudden cardiac arrest. Now the family needs help to cover the funeral costs.
"We jumped on the last train with the whole family"
Aliaksandr's family comes from Maryina Horka. After the 2020 elections, his parents participated in local protests, helped victims of repression and families of political prisoners, and raised money for fines.
A local police officer visited them and warned them to stop their activism. Due to social media posts, denunciations were filed against the family, and a policeman came to Aliaksandr's father's workplace.
"When arrests became more frequent, we realized we had to leave. You could say, we jumped on the last train. In December 2020, our whole family left, Sasha also went with us," says his mother, Alesia Yavilina.
Aliaksandr, along with his parents, went to Kurapaty when activists were holding vigil near the "Poyedem Poyedim" restaurant. Belarus remained important to him even after moving. In Lithuania, he met local Belarusians, kept in touch with them, and went to the "Tutaka" festival in Podlachia.
Sasha played the guitar, read a lot, and could watch educational programs for a long time.
"It was very interesting to talk to him. He knew a lot, was interested in everything," Alesia recalls.
Graduated from lyceum with honors and entered BSUIR himself
Before university, Aliaksandr studied at the Gomel Lyceum of the Ministry of Emergency Situations, which he graduated from with honors. Later, he independently enrolled on a budget in the Belarusian State University of Informatics and Radioelectronics. He trained as a security systems design engineer. He started working in his senior years, and after university, he managed to work in his specialty in a company. The relocation prevented him from finishing his master's degree.
"He always achieved everything himself. In Belarus, everything was going well for him: studies, work, friends, a beloved girlfriend," says his mother.
After he left, his girlfriend stayed in Belarus and ended the relationship. Alesia believes she might have been afraid to maintain contact. For Sasha, this was a difficult loss. Almost all his friends also remained in Belarus.
Worked as a cook, but wanted to return to his profession
In Lithuania, he couldn't find a job in his field of education. Aliaksandr knew English well, but in interviews, he repeatedly heard that employers needed someone with Lithuanian language skills.
Sasha loved to cook, so he got a job in a kitchen. He worked as a cook in a restaurant, making pizza. His mother says he was valued, and he even got a promotion.
After the full-scale war in Ukraine began in 2022, Ukrainians started getting jobs where he worked. The atmosphere changed. According to Alesia, Sasha began to be bullied because he was Belarusian and came from a co-aggressor country.
"He suffered greatly from this," says his mother.
Added to this were a painful breakup with his beloved girlfriend, separation from friends in Belarus, and the feeling that he couldn't find his place in the new country. It was then that Aliaksandr's condition began to worsen.
He tried to return to engineering work. He confirmed his Belarusian diploma, contacted various organizations, sent out resumes, and went for interviews. But the language barrier became an obstacle every time.
"All the documents have already arrived, the confirmed diploma is now at home. He applied everywhere he could. He came to interviews, spoke good English. But they answered him: 'We need Lithuanian,'" Alesia says.
"I was very afraid he might do something to himself"
In Lithuania, Aliaksandr sought help from a psychiatrist. He was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder and severe depression with a high risk of suicide. He took medication and was in the hospital for some time.
Aliaksandr's mother herself works as a nurse. She believes that her son lacked prolonged psychological help, especially in a language he understood.
"They prescribe you pills and send you home. They can't provide a psychologist because there's no Russian-speaking one. I saw how hard it was for him. For some time he lived alone, but then I took him to live with us," the woman says.
At first, Sasha continued to meet with Belarusian acquaintances. Friends wrote to him, invited him to meetings, and tried to get him out of the house. Gradually, he almost stopped answering and going out anywhere.
"Lately, he had no interests left. He didn't meet anyone, didn't go anywhere. I was very afraid he might do something to himself. And now, his heart couldn't take it," his mother says.
On his last day, he visited his father in the hospital
Shortly before Aliaksandr's death, his father became seriously ill and was hospitalized with high fever and blood pressure. Sasha visited him during the day, bringing necessary things. They sat and talked. His father was already feeling better at that point. Afterwards, Aliaksandr returned home.
Alesia was on a short trip at this time, planned long before her husband's illness. In the morning, she started calling her son, but he didn't answer. The family asked a friend to go to their apartment.
"He came and found Sasha in bed. He was lying on his side, just as he had slept. My child fell asleep and didn't wake up," says Alesia.
The preliminary medical report of death states sudden cardiac arrest. Exact details will be available later. Sasha previously had a high pulse and blood pressure problems. He practically did not consume alcohol, his mother says.
"He never hurt anyone in 29 years"
Alesia has four children. Her youngest daughter is in the 11th grade of a Lithuanian school, her eldest is studying dentistry at a medical university. Another son is married and lives separately.
About Aliaksandr, his mother repeatedly uses one word — "golden":
"He never in his life raised his voice at me. In fact, he never raised his voice at anyone. He couldn't hurt a person even as a joke. Gentle, calm, non-malicious. In all his 29 years, he never did anything bad to anyone. He was a golden child.
In these days, I've aged twenty years. Losing such a young child — it's just impossible to accept," says Alesia.
How to help the family
The funeral arrangements cost the family about four thousand euros. Almost all their savings went to it. Aliaksandr's father is still in the hospital.
"People ask how they can help. Now, however hard it is to say this, we need financial help. We spent everything we had, almost nothing left for living. I am very grateful to everyone who transfers even a small amount," she says.
You can help the family by transferring to the account:
Recipient: Aliaksandra Yevilina
IBAN: LT827300010167436585
Bank: Swedbank
Farewell to Aliaksandr will take place on October 8 from 4:00 PM to 7:00 PM and on October 9 from 9:00 AM to 1:00 PM in the second hall of the funeral center in Antakalnis: M. K. Paco g. 4, Vilnius.
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