Opinion5050

Stas Karpau: Imagine for a moment that Prakopyeu was in Tsyhanouskaya's place. Or Karach

Tsyhanouskaya can do little, but no one else can do that "little," writes Stas Karpau on Facebook.

Sviatlana Tsyhanouskaya. Photo: lookby.media

Almost all claims made against Tsyhanouskaya are, without a doubt, valid. But they are valid within the framework of multiverse theory.

In one of the parallel realities, where Tsyhanouskaya can influence something, she is stubbornly criticized for not influencing much.

For example, in a universe where Belarusians have a collective mind, they can be given a command under the code name "Sparish": seize TsUM, my minions, and let someone be the first to die on the barricades. To do this, free Sparish from behind bars, transfer him to the battlefield, and carefully place him under an APC.

In the reality where you and I find ourselves, Tsyhanouskaya can do almost nothing, but this "almost" requires a very high degree of actor-context conformity.

For example, imagine that Karach was in Tsyhanouskaya's place.

Yes, yes, the same one who asked, "how do you say 'toilet' in Belarusian?"

Tsyhanouskaya has been welcomed by European leaders for 5 years. Karach is not even welcome at the Lithuanian visa center.

Is there any confidence that our Volha would cope better with the task of being a pleasant interlocutor for all adequate Western politicians?

There is no such confidence.

Even Sparish wears his yellow glasses to convince himself that he is a bee, and Karach is honey.

Prakopyeu, who either challenges a 70-year-old grandfather to a ring or rearranges chairs?

The guy who bought himself oversized knight's armor and waited for a Tsyhanouski horse to come out of prison, from whose height he would swing a two-handed sword? And now it turned out that the horse is not a horse, but a crazy pony, and dear Vadzim sits on it backward, clanking his armor like an old Soviet set of pots…. Would he have managed?

All these people who jerk off to themselves like laboratory rats with electrodes in their hypothalamus?

Tsyhanouskaya can't do much. Almost nothing. But this "almost" means "being a normal, pleasant, mentally healthy person in every moment."

And so it turns out, my dears, that almost no one around her is able to cope with this task. This is the most terrible and main f***-up.

She is simply normal. And that is enough for something, at least. And the rest (with rare exceptions) are not normal. And incapable of anything.

And therefore, she has no competitors.

Not because she is a giant. But because the rest have shrunk to mice.

And by and large, what should concern us is not Tsyhanouskaya, but the intellectual and moral Palestine around her.

If a sudden correction happens in our universe tomorrow — what will we do? Who will compete with whom? A pleasant person — with clinical cases? This is, undoubtedly, better than now, when we have a clinical case in symbiosis with an unpleasant one. But not the universe I would choose, if I were choosing.

* * *

Texts in the "Opinions" section may or may not coincide with the Editorial Board's position.

Comments50

  • Нейкае абы што
    03.11.2026
    "Напрыклад, уявіце сабе, што замест Ціханоўскай апынулася б Карач.

    Да-да, тая самая, якая «как будет по-белорусски унитаз?»

    Параўнанне слабае. Чым лепей Ціханоўская з яе "мудры Пуцін, мудрая Масква" за Карач, якая брала інтэрв'ю ў Жырыноўскага?
  • Нейкае абы што
    03.11.2026
    "Ціханоўская можа зрабіць не шмат. Амаль нічога. Але гэтае амаль называецца «быць у кожным моманце нармальным, прыемным, псіхічна здаровым чалавекам»

    Тут хочацца самога аўтара да доктара накіраваць. Што ён вярзе?
    "Нармальны, прыемны, псіхічна здаровы чалавек" па Карпаву гэта той, хто амаль нічога не можа зрабіць. Пры гэтым займаючы пасады кіраўнікоў офісаў, кабінетаў, выступаючы па Еўрапарламента і канферэнцыях па бяспецы, атрымліваючы шалёныя грошы "на падтрымку дэмсіл".
  • А что было б
    03.11.2026
    Если б Светлана Георгиевна осталась на своем месте, а вот на месте Франциска Винцуковича (данного нам Божественным Провидением) оказался бы Прокопьев или Карач. Или Тихановский.

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